This is a true conversation that took place via text between myself and the person who I am closest to in life (excluding my husband). We are both fairly new mothers, trying to figure out this motherhood thing. And having a lot of issues, questions and 'what the hell' moments along the way.
Yep, this basically sums it up in a nutshell.
Her: Why do kids stomp around like elephants? Drives me nuts!
Me: Lol. Derrick does that. Drives me nuts too!
Her: And they don't watch where they're going!!!! I have bruises on the back of my heels from being stepped on!!
Her: I have PMS soooooo bad
Me: Lol. I have 'if school doesn't start I'm going to kill someone'
Her: I only have to make it 36 more hours without having a stroke or killing a kid and summer will be over. I'm not sure one of us is going to make it.
Me: I will trade. I'm back to school clothes shopping with picky teenage boys.
Her: I've got to start buying some clothes for myself. The last season of 'What Not to Wear' has been taped, so I've lost hope of anyone nominating me. I just don't know where to start. I need everything, but it causes me anxiety to spend money on myself.
Me: I don't like to spend money on myself either. So I understand. I can't tell you the last time I went in a name brand chain store and bought me new cloths. I shop at Goodwill a lot. lol.
Her: I'm a hot mess.
Me: I feel your pain. I got married, gained 20 pounds, no longer wear pants without an elastic waistband. AND I bought granny panties from Walmart last week.
Her: I wear yoga pants and a sports bra, yet do no yoga nor sports and my granny panties have holes and period stains! I occasionally make hamburger helper and I watch TLC all day while I clean. WTF happened to me???!
Me: We need to start a blog together where we talk about what life after kids is really like. Not that unicorn and cotton candy bullshit.
Her: I currently have a sleeve that has been peed on, but haven't bothered to change my shirt!
Me: What the hell DID happen to us? We used to be young and hip.
Her: I do know, but I'm taking it back! This is ridiculous, I'm buying myself some clothes on payday! AND (insert hubby's name here) and I are going to have some sex whether we're awake or not!
And that my friends is what motherhood is really like.